Panic attack!! Isn’t there a drug for that, oh wait I am already on it.

I was out this evening with my daughter, we’ve been diligently trying to go walk at the mall in the evenings after she gets home from work.  Exercise is needed to help with these winter doldrums. 

We occasionally talk about the plans of Mike and I leaving this summer.  Nothing too serious just discussing how she will handle our mail, our banking, what things she wants to use of ours while we are gone, you know things like that.  Tonight though we touched on the subject of who is going to miss whom first.  And I think we both decided it will be me.  Yes I am going to win that one hands down.  Not only miss her, but all our family and friends and of course those grandsons.  Don’t get me started on them.  Still trying to figure out how we can stow them aboard.  (Just kidding) 

I have to admit there have been a couple of nights I wake up in a panic thinking “what the

heck are we doing?” (yeah I cleaned that up a bit.)  As confident as Mike and I are of taking this journey there are no doubtably days where those second thoughts creep in our heads.  I mean think about it.  We sold our home that we both dearly loved and literally fixed up with our own blood, sweat and tears.  Sold more than half of our belongings, bought a boat that is almost older than I am and spent 2-1/2 years fixing her up.  And have poured the proceeds from the aforementioned sale of belongings into the boat.  We will have no home “on land” to come back to and will be leaving everyone we know and love behind.  Who the heck wouldn’t suffer the occasional panic attack.  

But then I remember that this is something Mike and I have been talking about for years and have spent the past 5 years working towards this journey.  After living on the boat most of last summer and cruising we know that we get along in “small quarters”, we can handle the boat and have more than figured out a lot of her quirks.  We have a few loose ends to tie up here but for the most part we are ready to go.  Even more ready after working our way through one more Ohio winter.  Being a snow bird is looking more and more appealing.  It is nice to know too that I (first mate) am not the only one who every once in a while has an “Oh shit what the hell are we doing” moment.  We also have some friends (Jeff and Sandy) that are also going through all of this too.  So at least we have someone to bank our anxiety off of. Okay it’s probably us women that are more anxious about this than the gentlemen. 

What I have to keep remembering is that we are not moving out of the country, we are literally either a car or plane ride away.  They rent apartments every day, plus we have friends and family that would put us up for at least a night or two.

 

Jacob (5 months)

Miles (3 years)

When it comes to the kids and grandsons well there is Skype, Facetime, visit’s back to Columbus and don’t they say you don’t really form memories until you are about 5.  So for those little guys we are good for a year or two.  But that doesn’t mean I (and Mike) won’t miss those two.

To our family and friends, know that yes we have those occasional “Oh my God are we doing the right thing” moments but in our hearts we know that this is what we want to do . Know that your love and support throughout all of this is what gets us through those unsure moments.  

Mike's side of the family

Jana's side of the family